LFP Gnomish Halls of Torture

Greetings and salutations! I would like to look for a group to do the Gnomish Halls of Torture raid! As we all know, this is the only piece of gnome content that has been added within approximately eight and three quarters years. It is heartbreaking, simply tragic that so few people run this fantastic bit of content just because it's so old, gives no relevant gear, and is bugged to make the final boss immortal three out of four times you run it.

Encounters:

Gnomish Torturer, Bee: This guy is a real jerk! The whole fight is on a very tight timer, as he will execute the falsely-accused Gnomish Princess Treebranch if you take too long. Make sure to dodge the spinning axes he throws out every 25% health and keep the Gnomish Turncoats from attacking the Princess. Otherwise, just focus on doing your Damage Per Second Rotation at maximum efficiency!

Perry the Puddlemancer: This fight is so easy I could do it solo! In fact, I have at least fifteen times, but it takes fifteen hours each attempt so I need more people to help me now. Simply don't stand in the puddles! Seriously, you'd be shocked at how many people have trouble with this. Also, you have to solve the Puddle Puzzle before he goes into enrage. I've memorized the complex algorithmic equation that you need to solve it, but if you have trouble, there's a handy tool online that can solve it for you. The real challenge is plugging each of the fifteen digits into the tool before you get knocked into the puddles!

The False King Sarsaparilla: This is the REAL challenge! Just as you're escaping the Halls, the impostor King comes to challenge you! This is a seven phase fight, with each phase having an entirely different set of moves. You can look up all of the details online, but the big things you need to look out for:

• In phase one, he will pick a single raid member to receive the debuff, 'Dramatic Betrayal'. This cannot be dispelled and immediately turns the debuffed player hostile to the group. It is impossible to turn the player friendly again in any way other than killing them. It's unfortunate, but that's just how the mechanic is! Blame Wizz! Also, beware if you are in-game friends with the player with the Betrayal debuff, as it does more damage to players on the victim's friends list! That's why some guides will recommend you block everyone in the raid before you go in, as that will make the Betrayal debuff easier to handle. This mechanic repeats every thirty seconds while he's still in phase one.
  
• In phase three, the King will set everyone's HP to one in a dramatic, near-lethal attack! Healers need to be ready to adapt and save their strong cooldowns for this. Of course, if your healers were the target of the Betrayal debuff, then this will be impossible and you will wipe.
  
• In phase five, the King will take all surviving players and sit them down in the Royal Academy and begin the quiz. Make sure to study your prime number tables!
  
• The transition from phase six to phase seven is the most critical point of the raid. The King will eat a gnome's favorite meal, berries with leaves and grow super-strong, but his health will gradually deplete because he gets sleepy after he eats. However, there's a chance that he actually heals health periodically instead due to an error in the berries with leaves code. There's nothing to do then except to reset the fight. Of course, due to my chronic clumsiness, I think it actually happens more often when I'm in the party. I'm hoping to recruit some particularly lucky players to help off-set this.
  

PM me if you're interested! No Heroic Honors requirements, just come to me willing to learn and with a deep interest in Gnome Lore! This is content that newer players deserve to see!

I will Help you achieved this Glory. The Gnomish Blood will flow, much like the blood of that She-Heathen WindGoddessAria. I need something to take my ANGER out on, and this is the Perfect opportunity.

I am Sharpening my axe. Tonight we ride.

I can also help if you're dragging any new players through it. Cleared on Unreasonable when this was new content.

Did they ever fix the exploit on Puddlemancer where the puddles counted as fishing spots and you could rapidly get in and out of your canoe to cheese mechanics?

We cleared it together on Unreasonable, remember?

And noooope! The raid has not be so much as thought about for an iota of a second since it was added to the game. Wizz forgetting about the Gnomes, as usual!

Anyway, I'd love to have you on our next run! I'll let you know when our next adventure is!

well uhhhh. seems like konan is probably out of this group now since he trashed his PC. so I might be down to join in on my main if u want

I main dark druid so I can flex between being a DPS or being a healer with a few build changes, whichever you don't want a pug to be

Icicle: Using custom spellomancy I find you can avoid killing the teammates in phase 3 by just freezing their blood.

Mechanus Mind:  MEANWHILE I SHALL HAVE NO NEED OF SUCH AN EXTERNAL PROGRAM FOR THE "PUDDLE" ""PUZZLE""

IF, UH, IF YOU DON'T MIND HAVING ME

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Um, sure! The more the merrier, as the Gnomes would say, and you seem to have some pretty nifty tricks up your sleeve!

But, uh... I hope I'm not being insensitive, but would I need to reserve one raid party slot for you, or more? I don't really understand who or what you are to be entirely honest.

Mechanus Mind:  WE ONLY HAVE THE ONE PC AVAILABLE TO US, AND IT IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO RUN MULTIPLE BOXES. COMRADE "PRISMATIC DELUGE" SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY ON ARR-GEE-BEE LIGHTING AND THUS WE COULDNT AFFORD A SECOND TOWER.

Prismatic Deluge: The purchase was well worth it, I will suffer no complaint.

Well, as long as you possess at least one adventurous heart and a valid Age of Wizards Online subscription, you are welcome in my raid group!

Thane Stumbleshrew wrote:We cleared it together on Unreasonable, remember?

And noooope! The raid has not be so much as thought about for an iota of a second since it was added to the game. Wizz forgetting about the Gnomes, as usual!

Anyway, I'd love to have you on our next run! I'll let you know when our next adventure is!

I would never forget such a memorable clear. Especially because the leaves and berries bug caused us to miss out on world first.